I need help removing her.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
