I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize