I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
