I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
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You. Win. At. Life.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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