It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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