Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
