It's Friday. Sex?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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