after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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