its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
