Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
