he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
