You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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