I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
