Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
