how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
