Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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