You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
