Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
