piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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