Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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