i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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