This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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