I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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