you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
