is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
