I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
