i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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