I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
