If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
