I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
