how do flat chested girls get laid?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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