We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
