I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
not ubering you a puppy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
