using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
