ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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