Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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