it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
