i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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