you would pick up someone in the library
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
