Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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