if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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