Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My underwear smells like fireworks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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