You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
