Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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