Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
