I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know her cup size but not her name....
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
