I want to make a zoo with you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
