i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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