Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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