I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize