so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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