Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
