I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
