I CAN MOONWALK!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
