My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
