he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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