Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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