I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
operation have a gay friend backfired
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
