I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
