I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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