its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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