i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
