There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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