hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
