For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
