So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Farmville is her only friend.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
